Saturday, May 24, 2014

Playing God

By way of introduction, I think Precocious Daughter's dad is super-pissed because her religious beliefs are much closer to mine than to his. Namely, she's willing to believe in Christian stories and their morals without buying into the bullshit of the institutions. I'm more than fine with that, but my formerly Beloved Spouse has a problem with free thinking, apparently.

This is my image of God. That Bible shit wears me out.
Anyway, that's neither here nor there, except by way of introduction. I've decided to share with you my version of the Ten Commandments. The best thing about my version is that it's not carved in stone, as it were. It can change, but hey, life can change. It's not that I don't believe in moral absolutes; it's just that I don't agree in the ones written in the so-called Holy Bible. So here are my Ten Commandments of the Moment. They may change, although they'll never go out of style. Unless they do.

God, I love relativism.

Ten Commandments for Today

I. Thou shalt listen to the Old 97s' new album, Most Messed Up. Especially the first single, "Let's Get Drunk and Get It On."

II. Thou shalt obey the title of the Old 97s' latest single.

III. Thou shalt see the new Godzilla movie. Because Godzilla. And Ken Watanabe.

Bless the shit out of
Ken Watanabe.

IV. Thou shalt not care about Kim and Kanye's wedding more than the mass shooting in California.

V. Thou shalt support local music in your town.

VI. Thou shalt introduce a young person in your life to classic cinema. Like Spaceballs. And The Graduate. Because they will be alive much longer than you will.

VII. Thou shalt be kind to animals.

VIII. Thou shalt not judge other people. You have no idea what they have going on in their lives.

IX. Thou shalt learn to spell and use proper grammar. Life is too short to present yourself like a dumb shit.

X. Thou shalt say "I love you" as often as possible. It's impossible to say it too often, or to too many people.


Hey...I love you.

Amen.

1 comment:

  1. Best commandments ever. Especially #III.

    Love you!

    ReplyDelete

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