Thursday, March 27, 2014

My Latest Brilliant Idea Involves Ted Nugent and Violence

I've decided that the best way for me to become Internet-famous is to challenge Ted Nugent to a fistfight.

I swear to God he's wearing a tinfoil hat.
Let the headlines read: Out-of-Shape Middle-Aged Blogger Chick Challenges Aging Batshit-Crazy Has-Been Right-Wing Rocker to Steel Cage Match.

I'm the blogger chick.

I'm not much of a fighter, but for a shot at 15 minutes of fame and a crapload of personal satisfaction I would totally get in the ring with Detroit's Best-Known Asshole. No holds barred, Teddy. Wipe the floor with me, if you think you're man enough. I don't, and I'm guessing my tens of readers don't, either.

My Drunkards can be pretty
damn passionate.
I don't want money out of this. All I want is fleeting notoriety and the chance to beat down an old man who believes he's still relevant in the 21st century. Who wouldn't get behind that?

So if you think this is a great idea, spread the word. Use the hashtag #TedNugentBeatdown with reckless abandon. Tell your friends, especially if they have more than 50,000 social media followers.

Why? Because I want to kick Ted Nugent's ass with the world watching. It's my dream, even if I only made it up 15 minutes ago. I want to see if the Motor City Unbelievable Douchebag has the cojones to engage in a fair fight with a suburban mom.

Back me up if you think it's a fight worth humiliating myself for.


  1. Do I need to look up who Ted Nugent is?

  2. I'm pretty sure there's already a long line of people who want to beat up Ted Nugent, but I'm backing you. I have one condition, though: you have to fight in Thunderdome.

    I'm insisting on this because it guarantees you will knock Nugent down and a little guy will come running in screaming, "Stop! Can't you see he has the mind of a child?"

  3. I'm in your corner! But, I'm betting he fights mean. I suggest a well placed knee to even things up a bit.


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