Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Today's Lesson Is, Chicken Artists Are Very Sensitive

I have arrived.


I recently received my first C&D notice.

That's Cease and Desist, bitches!

I said knock it off!
That's right, someone noticed that I had used a copyrighted image without permission in one of my posts and requested I remove it. Wait, let me edit that: Someone of my posts! Cool. Anyway, I guess I'm like a total scofflaw or something.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.
Here's what went down. I was writing about coffee, see, and I went a-Googling for a java-related image. And I found one on the website of an artist who paints all kinds of cool stuff. In fact, I was so impressed that I went out of my way to give the artist's name and a link to her website directly under the image I borrowed. I hardly ever do that - being a modern citizen of the Internet, I usually just blatantly take stuff and use it for my own ends - but in this case, I remember specifically thinking, "Huh, this is a working artist. I'd like to give her due credit and maybe drive a little traffic to her site."

Except the artist in question didn't see it that way. I don't know how she came to see my post - I'm going to guess she Googles herself in extended lulls between selling paintings - but about a week after I published it, she left a comment that said she didn't allow anyone to use her work and wanted me to take down her picture of a chicken drinking coffee that I had put up.

Hey, you kids! Quit looking at my painting!
It was a reasonable, if slightly snotty, request, so I immediately removed the picture and replaced it with this:

I had a great image here, but the artist
didn't want it used. I will respect her wishes to
not have others exposed to her work.
Of course, her name and the link to her website also goes.
I wish I were rich and famous enough to not want
people to know about me.

Really, I was just having a little fun. I honestly had never heard of an artist who didn't want people to look at her art or go to her website. I thought everyone was an attention whore like me.

And these two.
Anyway, life went on, and I was writing about Peeps and drummers and shit. And then I get an e-mail from the fine folks at Blogger, telling me that a C&D had been filed against my blog! After I had already taken down the offending picture of a goddamn chicken drinking coffee!

Now wait, I say, wait just a cotton-pickin' minute!
Sheesh. What was I supposed to do? I had already removed the picture, eradicated any reference to the artist, deleted the link, and ritualistically burned the keyboard I had used to type it in the first place. I thought of actually putting the image back up, just so I could cease-and-desist it all over again. Maybe that would make Chicken Artist Lady happy.

I want everyone to be happy.
Even crazy people.
Clearly, I cannot cease and desist something I have already ceased and desisted. So instead of taking down any images of chicken art, I decided to post a few of my own. And I just want to say to each and every one of you that you are welcome to do anything you freaking want to do with my chicken art. Copy it, forward it, print it on glossy paper and eat it with fava beans and a nice chianti. My chicken art belongs to the world.

Please enjoy this work, which I call "Chicken Mainlining Heroin."

Or a little piece I have titled "Chicken Deep-Throating a Sausage Being Held by a Flying Fairy."

And I do hope you like the haunting and evocative "Chicken ODing on Energy Drinks and Listening to Old Depeche Mode Records After a Bad Breakup."

By the way, in addition to being beautiful and certain collectors' items, my chicken art is made of public-domain clip art images that I slapped together. I think the results speak for themselves. And I don't think anyone can complain that I used their shit. But if any chicken artists (or chickens, for that matter) are offended, just send a C&D notice to me c/o Blogger.

I like the attention.

1 comment:

You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.