Sunday, October 17, 2010

30 Days in the Hole

This is it:  Day 30 without a drink.  Where's my brass band?

In truth, today is a day much like any other.  If I can make it to 11:59 tonight without consuming an alcholic beverage, I'll have reached the goal I set for myself a month ago, but other than that, I don't sense that some great transformation has occurred.  I've lost about seven pounds in the last 30 days, solely from not drinking; that's kind of nifty (aside from the galling realization that many if not most of the other pounds I've gained over the past decade probably are the result of alcohol and alcohol-related calories).  I've saved, I'd estimate, 30 or 40 bucks by not replenishing my vodka supply for a month.  That's never a bad thing.  I've convinced myself that, if I'm an alcoholic, I'm the kind that can go several weeks without a drink and not suffer mental or physical torment.  I'm not sure what kind of alcoholic that would be; at this point I don't think I'd pass an audition to be a hard-core drunk.  C'est la vie.

Anyway, as I write this, there are just about eight hours left in Day 30.  Shouldn't be a problem.  Thanks to Texas Blue Laws, I can't buy liquor today.  Well, I could buy beer or wine or the like, but I don't care for wine, and I'll be damned if I'll torpedo my accomplishment by drinking a flavored malt beverage.  Also, I managed to sidestep my Beloved Spouse, who decided yesterday that it would be a great idea to stop and buy me a bottle on Day 29 of my quest.  (He's not unsupportive, just habitually clueless.)  We didn't stop, so temptation remains on the shelf in the darkened liquor store.  If I bothered to search, it's very likely that I could find a stray bottle of beer tucked in the back of the fridge.  It's been back there longer than 30 days; it can stay back there a little longer.

So the only question that remains to be answered is:  When will I have a drink?  Do I go on to 60 days, or maybe just continue on a day-to-day basis?  The Rangers are in the ALCS for the first time EVER, and if that's not cause to celebrate with a V&D, I don't know what is.  Still, I don't particularly crave a drink, so should I really reignite the habit just because I've passed my arbitrary calendar milestone?  I could raise a toast to my new job.  But money is kind of tight this month, so maybe I should hang on to the price of a bottle until I get that first new paycheck. 

Bottom line:  I don't think there's a much of a compelling argument either way.  I'll wake up tomorrow morning, and it will be Day 31.  I'll drink if I want to, or I won't drink because I know I can.  Part of me wishes, just a little bit, that I had something more profound to say today.  Part of me is glad that I don't.  After all, I didn't have cancer that went into remission.  I just didn't drink for a while.  Turns out it's not that big a deal. 

Whew.

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