Thursday, July 5, 2018

Not My Mother's Motherhood

A couple of days ago, Precocious Daughter said to me, ever so casually, "Oh, by the way..."

Record scratch. Freeze frame.
Now, if you've ever had a child, you know that "Oh, by the way..." is a heavily loaded phrase. It's the offspring equivalent of a woman saying "It's FINE."

It's not sexist if it's true, you guys.
And just let me point out that this particular child is a legit grown-ass woman with a car, a job, and a fat college scholarship.

Still.

OK, so a couple of days ago she casually dropped this: "Oh by the way...I think I might have a date this weekend."

Sure. She hasn't had a love interest in more than a year. So...great.

"I think we're going to see the new Jurassic World movie."

Weekend movie date. Classic. I'm on board.

Then I asked: And who is this person?

Thinking she's going to name someone she went to school with, or a friend of a friend, or even someone she met at work.

Her answer?

"I met him on Tinder."

ME. OBVIOUSLY.
My daughter - who just graduated from high school - has met someone on Tinder.

ON. TINDER.

Because in 2018, teenagers have Tinder accounts, I guess.

Wut.

David Tennant supports me.
Now, PDaughter was very willing to share information about this...person. Who is her age, and who lives in a very good neighborhood (in Drummer Boy's neighborhood, in fact), and whose social media accounts are actually clever and not creepy at all.

And they've been communicating on the regular prior to setting this date, and according to her, he's raised no red flags, i.e., hasn't discussed dismembering squirrels or supporting Trump.

Still. My baby girl met someone by swiping right.

Or left. Or...I don't know shit about Tinder, to be honest.

Anyway, she's planning on meeting this TOTAL STRANGER this weekend.

I understand that every relationship begins with two total strangers.

Mine with Drummer Boy included.

But...but...

I got nothing.

What do you guys think about this development?

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