I Hope It's the Right Size

Merry Christmas Eve, Drunkards! I didn't get you anything.

LOL, jk. Actually, I got you a sackful of gifts. Because you deserve only the very best. But this is what I got you, anyway.

For meme makers:

Fucking use this.

For women in the workplace:

Credit: Wendy Sue Huff/Pantsuit Nation

For Christian couch potatoes:

The Bible says it's OK to watch a "Chopped" marathon instead.

For hard-to-buy-for foodies:

A passssssta holder.

For science geeks/Trekkers:

The shirt. Chris Pine and Karl Urban may be on back order.

For moms who feel like failures:

Your gift is the schadenfreude, not the dick pops.
Unless you're into that.

For anyone who hasn't yet discovered BuzzFeed Unsolved:

Set aside a couple of hours and watch.

And for everyone else:

Thank you.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or just have a nice day.

I hope we all get everything we want.