Tuesday, March 14, 2017

I'm All About Purple...Unless You're Not

Today's poll question for you guys:

Should I put a streak of purple in my hair?

Artist's rendering.

Wait, let me contextualize that for everybody.

Should I - a middle-aged single mom who is already fairly goofy looking and even more fairly insecure about her looks - put a purple streak in my hair?

I love purple. My glasses are purple. My phone case is purple. Many of my favorite items of clothing are purple. My car, Benedict Cumberhatch, would be purple if he were offered in that color. My bedspread is purple, my shower curtain is purple, and I'm currently wearing a purple bra.

And as far as almost everyone reading this
knows, my boobs look just like these.
My point is -

Guys, stop looking at the breasts. Focus.

My point is, I'm 48 years old. I've pretty much reached a place where I can treat my physical presence as some kind of cosmic joke, to which I can provide whatever avant garde, baroque punchline I please. In other words, nobody can convince me that I'm one iota more or less attractive than I believe I am. Because I just don't care how you think I look, as long as I'm OK with how I think I look.

Can you dig it?

I legit find her so beautiful.

So if I get a notion to put a purple streak in my standard fluffy chin-length mom-bob, whose business is it, really, but my own?

Other than everyone who has to look at me.

But do I give a flip, as long as I can look at myself and think, "That is a BITCHING purple streak. Yaaasss, queen"?

I think that's how the kids talk. But I don't really care.

Because bein' purple, like bein' green, is beautiful.
Anyway. There is a bottle of purple hair dye on my bathroom vanity. And it would take me only a few minutes to introduce a righteous streak of purple into my standard suburban-mom hairstyle.

It's not permanent. It's just hair. And I really, really like purple.

Oh, other considerations are Precocious Daughter's opinion, my semi-conservative engineering firm employer, and my own ability to withstand looks from strangers (which typically freak me the fuck out).

That's the mix, Drunkards.

Do I apply the purple streak?

Or do I leave it to other, way more cool women/moms/bloggers?

If enough of you care to answer, her or on Facebook or on Twitter, I'll go with the majority.

I mean, why not?

Remember, the issue confronting us is this: Chuck Baudelaire - Purple Streak or Hell No?

Thanks for weighing in.



  1. Yes. Go for it!

    There's a freedom I'm finding in my forties, where the worry I would feel over doing something a little inexplicable to others has passed.

    Besides, it will match your bra, right? Right?

  2. I think you should go for it - but if you're not sure you could get some hair chalk and test run it before doing anything longer term!

  3. Why just a streak? If you're going purple, go full purple. Colour the whole hair!

  4. As usual I like the way Bill thinks. If it's just a streak people might think it's an accident. Go all in.
    Although the streak also has a certain "I don't care if people think it was just an accident" quality to it.

  5. Go for it! I think purple hair would suit you! (I'd go to the salon rather than risk a DIY mistake, though...)

  6. Go for it! I think purple hair would suit you! (I'd go to the salon rather than risk a DIY mistake, though...)

  7. Do it. I was fully prepared to take out the stud in my nose ( when I had one) while facing customer. Turns out nobody gives a damn. We have a woman in our office whose hair has been a rainbow of colors. The good old boys that run the place don't care. Do it.

  8. Do it. I once went for a pink streak - no one at my ultra conservative office blinked an eye. If it's something you want - who cares what anyone else thinks?

  9. A year ago, I told the woman who cuts my hair that I wanted a crew cut. I promised myself that when I no longer worked at the extremely conservative place I used to work, I'd get a crew cut. (They fired me.) She wouldn't go as short as I wanted so the next time My husband did it with the dog shears.

    Saved me a shitload of money. I love it, and he's cut it twice since.

    I only have to look at it once a day when I'm brushing my teeth; the rest of the day it's everybody else's problem.

    Hair grows out. Go full-on purple! This is true. Today, sitting in my doctor's office, I idly considered dying my hair blue. I've never colored my hair so why not?

    Also, I wore a curly purple wig on Mardi Gras, and received many compliments.

    All of those things are indications that you should do it. Or that I should.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.