Thursday, October 8, 2015

Open Letter

Holy shit.

What did you say to our daughter?

You picked her up from her football game and dropped her off here, and she came in uncharacteristically tight-lipped and irritable. She shut herself in her room, and for a while I let her be. But then I got worried and went to see her. And we talked.

Dear God, why would you dump our problems on the head of our 15-year-old daughter?

I know we're broke. You know we're broke. But she should never, ever have to worry about that. She should never feel afraid or unsure of her future or worried about whether we can take care of her.

How dare you put that fear in her.

How dare you make her cry.

Our problems are our problems. They are not her problems. If you haven't cultivated friendships that allow you to vent your frustrations and fears, that's not her fault. DO NOT USE HER AS YOUR SOUNDING BOARD.

Soon - not soon enough, but soon - all of the unpleasantness about splitting up and moving out and selling our home and getting divorced will be behind us. And my entire existence will be devoted to making sure our daughter is happy, and healthy, and psychically OK with what and where she is.

And if you can't keep your goddamn mouth shut and avoid upsetting her when she's with you, then soon enough you'll find that she isn't with you very much at all.

Holy shit.

What did you say to her?


  1. We didn't have much money when I was a kid. But I never knew that.

    And now, looking back from 30, I'm glad I didn't know the serious conversaitons that were going on down the hall from me.

  2. Cheesus... I think kids know a lot more than we give them credit. They have enough shit to worry about at 15. No need to add to it. Ouch.

  3. I had a parent who confided in me as a friend (to where I had to lie to my Dad when I knew she was with her boyfriend ). Not good. Screwed up my ideas about relationships for years.


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