Monday, July 20, 2015

I Can Give You a View of the World in Haiku

So some of you liked my angry little haiku?

And even wanted more.

Well, when it comes to anger and highly structured verse forms, I've always got more, children.

And lo, there was a shitstorm of
fair verses, bitches.

But wait. I wanted to tell you all about the craptacular beginning to my work week, otherwise known as "The Ballad of It Was Almost Lunchtime Before IT Got Its Head out of Its Ass and Fixed the Network."

Then I thought, ¿Por qué no los todos?

I watch a lot of taco commercials, yo.

So without further ado, I present My Monday Computer Fail, in Haiku.

Post-weekend welcome - No phone, email, internet. Work is not working.

Power is on - good. A/C blows, but nothing works. We're cool, but not chill.

The challenge I face: To communicate without Communication.

Did I mention this? This office is where cell phone Signals go to die.

Outside is one bar. I peck out an email plea Like an angry hen.

The Texas morning Patiently roasts me as I Impatiently wait.

Give up, go inside. Lose my precious bar and then Go outside again.

Try this, they tell me. I try - the network slumbers. Back and forth we crawl.

My data plan groans, Dwindling without free wifi, All in a day's work.

At last - surrender! The network connects, becomes A tamed, blinking beast.

Eleven thirty. Most of the morning lost to  The demon downtime.

If only IT Guys knew the difference between Coax and Cat 6.

Meanwhile, they won't even give me business cards because my position isn't important enough.

On to Tuesday.


  1. I'm sorry your day sucker so bad. I'm also glad in a schadenfreude-y way because these haikus are kickass.

  2. I want to feel badly about your day, but I love how you took lemons and made lemon gelato here.

  3. Well. You could have had the kind of day I just got back from. I think I would've preferred yours.

  4. I want to paste these all over my office!

  5. Mmmmmm. Gelato.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.