Saturday, August 16, 2014

The Best Dick Perry Quote Ever

Texas Governor Dick Perry is officially under indictment on two counts of being a corrupt bastard.

Dick Perry, shown here counting to two.
You can read the actual indictment here. In a nutshell, Dick is accused to threatening to veto $7.5 million in  funding to an entity overseen by Rosemary Lehmberg, the Democratic District Attorney for Travis County, after Ms. Lehmberg refused Dick's demand to resign over a DUI incident.

The entity with whose funding the Governor attempted to coerce and blackmail the DA?

The Public Integrity Unit, of course.

This is going to to be So. Much. Fun. And Dick himself has gotten the party off to great start with a feisty statement full of his characteristic blend of cockiness, charisma, and crazy. In fact, he dropped a classic line that someone should totally get a bonus for writing. For which, no, I can't top his wordjammery.

Here's what the Dickinator said about the decision of the grand jury to try him for his alleged offenses:

"We don't settle political differences with indictments in this country."

Said the man whose political party has been trying to impeach the President of the United States basically since the first day of his first term.

This face.
I really don't know where Dick Perry can go from there. Could it be he's shot his wad comically early, setting an impossibly high standard for the rationalizations and double-talk that surely will follow?

Nah. I have faith in the Texas Governor. He'll find a way to raise the bar to the level of his 2012 magnum opus, "Oops."

As I said, this is going to be fun.


  1. I found his indignation confusing (from the point of view of a sane person). We don't settle political differences with indictments, but we do settle them with vetoes of funding bills?

  2. Okay...that really might be the best quote ever. It's hard to not read about this guy without just murmuring WTF over and over...


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