Friday, February 21, 2014

In Case You Haven't Noticed, This Is a Chick Blog

Just a couple of fortysomething chicks talking about menstrual cycles:

Bestest Friend: PMS in perimenopause bites hard, doesn't it? Why can't we do what the generation before us did? Why can't we just take some Valium and hormone replacement therapy and just smile our way through the Change?

Me: Really? We could do that? What would we replace our hormones with? I vote for grape jelly.

Can you say bestrogen?
For the record, Bestest Friend would prefer vanilla frosting. Either way, gotta be better than the primordial hormonal soup sloshing around now.

Note to any guys who have made it this far: PMS, you probably know, is pre-menstrual syndrome. Perimenopause is the months-to-years-long process of the female body gradually shutting down its baby-making facilities. In terms of physical and emotional upheaval, it's almost exactly like reverse puberty. Think of a movie in which Adam Sandler and Rich Schneider ineptly try to run a dilapidated toy factory, with results that aren't really very funny and seem to last a lot longer than the two hour running time. That's perimenopause.

Where can I get my hands on a peanut butter and Valium sandwich?


  1. (*Rob* Schneider. I like that you got the name wrong. I'm horrified that I felt the need to make the correction. I blame my old lady hormones...)


  2. Perimenopause sucks. Menopause so far has been SO much better. No mood swings, no migraines, no hot flashes --no period. Now we wait and see whether the bod falls apart....

  3. I have been patiently waiting for menopause so I (hopefully) won't have any more migraines and (definitely) won't have to worry about birth control. To my horror, I just discovered that this shit is not expected in my 40s, but most likely another 10 years after that! What!!! Now you are telling me that there is some sort of crappy transition part too? I want to turn in my woman card.


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