Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Internet, You Had One Job

So I got this error message:

This suggests a number of what I believe to be perfectly valid questions:

  • Just what is the website busy doing?
  • Should I feel insulted that this website had something better to do than show up for me?
  • When did websites unionize so that they think they have the right to blow off their web-surfer overlords without fear of reprisal?
  • Are "refresh the page" and "go back to the previous page" just browser secret code for "ask me again later, when I might care" and "ask someone else, who might care more than I do," and if so, can I use these same responses when my boss asks me to do my job?
  • What would happen if I clicked on "More information"? Because I don't want to figuratively walk in on the internet, uh, emptying its cache (if you know what I mean) or whatever it might be doing instead of, I don't know, displaying my freaking webpage?
  • Who the hell says "webpage"?  Now I think the Internet is some old codger with an AOL account who doesn't want to interrupt his "Matlock" reruns to display my site.

Fine. Whatever. You know what? I'm going to read a book. Books have everything the Internet has.

Even cats.

P.S. This is true:  I had a hell of a time getting the last sentence and image to post. BECAUSE THE INTERNET IS SENTIENT AND IS READING MY BLOG.

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