Thursday, May 16, 2013

The World Is Full of Nuts and Peters

I'm a little tired of just posting my daily A to Z Swearing Challenge word. I admit it's been a good way to ease back into blogging since my marriage evaporated and sucked up my writing mojo with it. But now I want more. MORE, I tell you.

So here's today's swear with some topical commentary.

N is for NUMBNUTS.

And by numbnuts I specifically refer to Mr. Peter Ahern of Princeton, Texas, who has written an astoundingly numbnuttish Letter to the Editor of my local deadwood paper. Here's the link, and here's what Peter Ahole wrote. Pardon me; Ahern.

We have ongoing scandals involving Benghazi, the IRS, Kermit Gosnell and the Department of Justice improperly monitoring The Associated Press.

So when I opened my paper yesterday morning, what story was at the center top of page 1A? Angelina Jolie’s decision to have an elective surgery, that’s what.

While I’m sure adolescent males of all ages throughout the free world are now hopelessly traumatized by that news, there really are more important things that demand the attention of responsible citizens.



Thank you for your input, Mr. Ahole. Thank you for pulling out your deadened genitalia and waving them for all to see.


Full disclosure: I admit to having mixed emotions about Angelina's preventive double mastectomy. I admire the courage it took to undergo major surgery. I empathize with her desire to increase the odds that she will see her children and her children's children grow up. And I certainly appreciate not wanting to live in fear of suffering the ravages of breast cancer, especially knowing her risk level was much higher than normal

Still, I feel some misgivings about Ms. Jolie's being held up as an inspiration and a role model. Simply put, the vast majority of women in this country lack the resources to even be tested for the genetic mutation that may put them at risk for developing breast and ovarian cancer, let alone to go ahead with the very time-consuming and costly procedures she had done. As much as I marvel over the medical advances that enabled Angelina to proactively have her breasts removed, I fail to see how this demonstrates to most women that they have "options." A double mastectomy and breast reconstruction just isn't an option for women who don't have deep pockets, plenty of unencumbered time, and an extensive support system. If you're a woman without health insurance, Angelina Jolie may as well have had her brain removed and placed in a jar for safekeeping, for all the opportunity you're likely to have to follow in her footsteps.

That said, what Angelina Jolie has done - not simply undergoing the procedure but publicly chronicling it - is significant. It's important in that it's generating discussion that may lead to greater availability of such treatment to poor and middle-class women in the future. It's certainly newsworthy.

It is NOT, Mr. Penis Ahole - excuse me, Peter Ahern - simply an item about the latest celebrity surgery. And to reduce Angelina's story to such a tasteless and tone-deaf sound bite as "teenage boys must be sad because a chick cut off her boobies" is not only grossly insensitive but completely ignorant.

I suspect you come by your knowledge of adolescent male thought patterns honestly, Mr. Ahole. And I cannot imagine to whom you are referring in your letter as "responsible citizens."

You are not a responsible citizen. You are a numbnuts.

I sincerely hope you are aware that men can get cancer down there, and die of it. And I can promise you that, should that fate befall you, I will neither trivialize nor mock your plight.

Not even if "important" things are happening in the world that day.

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