Monday, December 17, 2012

We're Not All Like This in Texas, I Swear

Texas has a lot of idiot politicians.

Such as Gov. Rick Perry, shown here at his church's karaoke night.
 They're not all idiots. I mean, I can't think of any right now who aren't, but I believe they exist. That may be a topic for another post. But today I'm spotlighting not just an idiot, but a true asshat: Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tyler).

Shown here in the act of not accepting money from lobbyists
or whoring for media coverage.
In some ways, Rep Gohmert is a run-of-the-mill Texas conservative. He consistently votes for oil, against choice, and thinks climate change has nothing to do with all those pollutants his home state allows to be spewed into the atmosphere despite federal laws telling Texas to knock it off before it kills someone.

But Louie Gohmert has also gone above and beyond mere right-wing biliousness on any number of occasions. He has stated that Middle Eastern Muslim women are seeding American-born terrorists right here in the U.S. of A. by deliberately having babies while they're on vacation. He believes the attack on an Aurora, Colorado movie theatre by a deranged gunman was due to the downfall of Judeo-Christian dogma. He has said - for the record, in a Congressional Committee meeting - that not having more oil pipelines in Alaska could lead to decreased sex drive in caribou and suggested a study be conducted to confirm whether this was true.

Do you think I'm making any of this up? I'M NOT THAT CLEVER.

I could never have thought this up, for instance.
I also never could have invented what Rep. Louie Louie has said now. On Sunday he appeared on Fox News and stated that Dawn Hochsprung, the principal of Sandy Hook Elementary, one of 26 people who died in last Friday's mass shooting, should have had an M-4 assault weapon in her office to prevent "those precious kids" from being killed.
An elementary school principal should keep in her office a semi-automatic military assault rifle designed for close-in combat. For the sake of the "precious kids."

Repeat after me, children: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Please, please listen to me. I live in Texas. I have many friends and loved ones here. None of us is perfect, but many of us are intelligent, thoughtful, and even progressive. Do I know Texans who would agree with Rep. Gohmert and his stupid-crazy idea to put military weapons in grade school supply cabinets? I have to admit, I do.

But please believe that there are plenty of people who live here who think Rep. Gohmert is a freaking loon who doesn't speak for them or, really, for anything resembling common sense or sanity. Who think he is trivializing a complex issue in favor of getting his face plastered across the media. Who think that putting guns in everyone's hands doesn't make us safer, any more than putting Bibles in hotel rooms makes us more Christian.

I do believe that eating more chicken-fried steak
makes us fatter. But that's a stand I'm willing to defend.
Anyway, Rep. Gomer - oops, Gohmert - may be a Texan, but he doesn't speak for everyone here. I promise. Please don't think we're all right-wing wackos. Many of us are bipartisan wackos. Kthx.

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