Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Quick Questions Quickly

I have things to do today, so this is going to be brief.

I Googled men's underwear to make a really obvious brief/briefs
joke and was amazed by how embarrassed I am capable
of being by pictures of men's underwear.
Anyway, tonight is Clash of the Dudes Running for President, Part 2. I may live-blog it, I may not. I'm feeling kind of meh on that at the moment. Be that as it may, the debate format for tonight is the venerable town hall meeting, where a cross-section of extremely closely vetted Americans pose heavily edited questions as if they were all there to randomly and spontaneously engage these two millionaires who just happened to appear on stage before them in conversation.

Obviously, a dirtbag blogger such as myself has no place in such a wholesome and completely uncontrived setting. So my questions will not be posed. Except that I'm a dirtbag blogger, and I can say whatever I want here and upwards of three people may read it.


So I have here one question and one follow-up for each candidate. I hope the audience at tonight's debate is thinking along the same lines and asks some variant of these queries. For the good of America and TV ratings.

And patriotic guitar-playing clowns.
Which would be great warm-up act.
Just sayin.

Question for President Obama: Sir, you've said that an economic crisis of the magnitude we've endured the last four years (although it's actually been at least five years, but never mind, the Secret Service agents are fingering their tasers as I speak) cannot be turned around quickly, and you're asking for another four years to continue the work of your administration. However, much of what you've done consists of passive acts, like continuing the Bush tax cuts, or well-intentioned failures, like the "shovel-ready" projects that were supposed to result from the stimulus package. Can you give one or two specific, concrete ideas that will result in more jobs and greater economic stability in your second term?

Follow-up for President Obama: You have one girl slightly older than my Precocious Daughter and one slightly younger. When they act out, as girls this age will, do you threaten to "slap the taste out of their mouth" or "ground them until they forget what trees look like"?


Question for Mitt Romney: Governor Romney, what little we know about your foreign policy strategy consists of your public statement that the death of Osama bin Laden was not worth pursuing and your recent string of gaffes during an overseas tour. Your campaign has touted a poll showing that deployed U.S. soldiers favor your candidacy over that of President Obama's. In what ways will you live up to that vote of confidence in terms of your foreign policy objectives, as well as your treatment of veterans and the families of those currently serving?

Follow-up for Mitt Romney: Have you seen Congressman Ryan naked, and if so, what is your opinion of his stimulus package, so to speak?

This is why they should totally accept call-in questions during the debate.

OK, join me tonight on my Facebook page. I might show up. Or not. Feeling kind of meh on that.

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