Settle down, ladies, there's plenty of Willy to go around. |
But Bubba can give a speech. As one commenter on YouTube put it, "That man could sell me shit right off the shovel." Indeed.
Plus, his pimp hand is strong. |
The estate of Ronald Reagan fervently hopes this silences the whole "acted with a monkey" thing forever. |
Amiright? |
Him. |
But I digress.
You may not know this, but in 2008 I seriously considered voting for Sen. John McCain. I ended up voting Democrat, but I was by no means certain that Obama/Biden was the right ticket to get us out of the recession. And since I'm currently making almost $10K less than I was making on Election Day 2008, I'm still not certain. Still, for a plethora of reasons besides the economy, it's highly unlikely that I'll be casting my ballot for Romney/Ryan.
That doesn't mean I'm on board with the entire Dem platform. There are many things Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden need to say tonight in order to increase my confidence in their re-election bid. I'd be far happier if my vote were something more than choosing the lesser of two evils. Or dumbasses.
"So when I get to the end of the hall, do I turn left or right to get to the potty?" |
Defense spending. Couldn't we save a lot of money here if we stopped sending troops to places where everybody wants to shoot us?
Federal education standards. Let's declare Texas' graduation rate and per-student spending to be the national target, and 49 states instantly become exemplary.
Abortion rights. In the interest of fairness, I want to know why no man has ever proposed a Constitutional ban on whacking off. I mean, that one's a sin in the Bible and everything.
Taxes. If you make more money in a single year than I've made since graduating from college 23 years ago, shut up, stop being an asshole, and pay up.
Health care. Why exactly is everyone so keen to have access to a health-care system where it's OK for a hospital to charge $12 for an Advil?
Jobs. People create jobs. If corporations are in fact people, they're the neighborhood jerkwads who collect the other kids' money to buy candy and then keep it all for themselves.
Illegal immigration.
Marijuana.
Voter ID laws.
Dudes. Enforcing laws against these problems costs more than the alleged problems. As President Clinton said, it's arithmetic.
I hope you'll join me for the live blog tonight at 8:00 CDT or so. I'm looking forward to doing a shot every time Joe Biden says something crazy. Um, if I decide to do that.
There's nothing worse than a toad-nanny state.
No comments:
Post a Comment
You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.