A helpful guide to common phrases. One in a series.
When God closes a door...
...it's usually right on your damn hand.
Note: This phrase is sometimes rendered as: When God closes a door, He opens a window...
...which invariably unleashes a virus...
...or allows vampires to come in. Also, watch out for trapdoors...
...He likes those, too.
This phrase is usually interpreted to mean: God likes to give pop quizzes on material you haven't studied yet....
...and he has no sense of boundaries as He goes around opening your doors and shit.
Most often used as if it were actually a good thing. Go figure.
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