I take one stinkin' day off, spend it away from the computer, and I miss the biggest story of the century.
I'm talking, of course, about Fred Willard getting busted for whacking off in an adult theater.
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| Fred Willard, shown with both hands in full view. |
According to
TMZ.com, Fred - the greatest actor in the known universe, mind you - was discovered by police officers "with his penis exposed and in his hand." Talking to his WALL-E, as it were.
That's...that's...
OK, that's freaking AWESOME.
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| Fred Willard don't need no dame to take care of his business, yo. |
Willard's lawyer, of course, says the charge is, uh, whack. I say,
of course it is. Fred was probably doing research for a new movie, and he was enjoying a pecan log while taking in a show at his local adult theater. For his
art.
Fred Willard, getting down with his bad self at the age of 78. Get this man an honorary Oscar, stat. For contributions to being badass.
Ron Burgundy would be proud.
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