Sunday, May 6, 2012

Ten Things You Didn't Know You Needed to Know About Me

I'm going to share today. Or overshare. Depends on how much you want to know about me. If you don't want to know anything about me, maybe you should skip today's post, because you're about to discover 10 facts critical to an understanding of my inner self. Continue at your own risk, because this list may be too chock-full of awesomeness for you. On the other hand, maybe it's just 10 pieces of unrelated narcissistic flotsam that I'm using as blog filler because it's a lazy Sunday and my work is not braining.

But we won't know that until we get through it, will we?

Ten Damn Important Items of Damn Importance
by Chuck Baudelaire

1. I could listen to George Thorogood's "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" every day of my life and never, ever get tired of it.

2. The comic strip "Peanuts" is a profound influence on my personality and outlook on life, and when Charles Schulz died I cried as if I had lost a member of my own family.

Snoopy is one of my best friends.

3. If I could be any sitcom character, it would totally be Mary Richards from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

For the clothes, the legs, and the being
at least 50% less neurotic than I am.
4. I never once snuck out of my house late at night as a teenager, and until recently I had no idea that my brother and sister both did, on a regular basis. Somehow I feel duped.

5. I graduated from college with a 4.0 GPA because I consciously avoided classes that would have challenged me intellectually. And if I had it to do over again, I'd do exactly the same thing.

6. Once when I was a kid, I decided to run away from home, but I got a block away from my house and couldn't think of anywhere to go, so I went back. Today I think that incident set the tone for many things that have happened to me since.

7. Although I know this is wrong and bad and shallow, there are old friends I see on Facebook whom I won't friend because I still hold grudges for things that happened 30 years ago or more.

8. I admit it: I didn't know the Led Zeppelin song "D'yer Mak'er" was pronounced "Jamaica" until a couple of years ago.

9. The thing I've found most difficult about being a parent is not showing my child how damn afraid I am  almost every moment of my life.

10. I have only one regret in my entire life.

Yeah, I'm going to leave that one as a cliffhanger.

Now you know 10 absolutely true but ultimately insignificant things about me. Next time I'll tell you where I'm ticklish and why I can't listen to REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling" without crying.

Oh, and why the mole next to my navel looks the way it does. That's a great story. For another day.


  1. Charles Schultz's Peanuts is wonderful, but he messed it up in the end. Legend had it that he had stashed away a last week or two worth of strips for when he died. They would feature Charlie Brown finally winning a baseball game. A perfect ending for the strip! Unfortunately, that hoped-for legend died when he had Charlie Brown win a game a few years before he died. Sigh.

    And don't feel bad. Those of us who never snuck out or lived wild lives go wild "in print."

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