Friday, April 15, 2011

This Weekend's Simple Goal

This weekend I will drink a margarita.

Aside: The picture above was nicked from a delightful article about the margarita on

Here are my top 10 reasons for drinking a margarita this weekend.  Feel free to borrow them or create your own - there must be many more than 10, right?

  1. I'm tired of waiting for Charlie Sheen to die (and truth be told, now that his his brother Emilio is following me on Twitter, I feel kind of awkward about it).  I toast your mental and physical health, Charlie, for as long as it lasts.
  2. NBA playoffs start this weekend!  Go Mavs.  I'm not much of a sports-event drinker, but a margarita (or two) may take my mind off the slim chance the Mavs have of advancing past the first round.
  3. Simple self-control: Because margaritas are sweet and rather filling, I tend to be happy with one or two drinks.  Vodka, with its deceptive clear color and lack of fragrance, tricks me into thinking it's as harmless as water, and I fall for it every time.
  5. Now that it's Spring, I'm exercising more - yard work, long walks, yoga to ease the muscle aches caused by the yard work.  All that healthy, virtuous activity really throws off my equilibrium.  I need to restore it with a unself-consciously fun and frivolous adult beverage.
  6. I feel obligated to let the margarita know I don't blame it for being the subject of one of the three worst songs ever written about alcohol, Jimmy Buffet's "Margaritaville."  (The other two are "What Made Milwaukee Famous [Has Made a Loser Out of Me]" and "Escape [The Pina Colda Song]"
  7. I like tequila but am too weak to drink it straight.
  8. I like my margaritas on the rocks, no salt.  This is such an affront to margarita purists that occasionally I have to have one just to keep up my image as a lousy contrarian.
  9. My doctor says I need more green in my diet. (That's a groaner, isn't it.  Sorry about that, Chief.)
  10. I like margaritas.  Wow, that was an easy one.
  11. For a blog called "Always Drunk," it's been a while since I've talked about drinking.  Remember, like life, it's not always about alcohol, but sometimes it totally is.
Have a great weekend, everybody!  Go to Mass and get some palms, you Catholics!  Lovely, margarita-colored palms.

And that is what we writers call thematic integrity.  BAM!
What's your favorite reason for having a margarita?  Leave a comment!

1 comment:

  1. If I'm not drinking I'm on call so every Saturday night I get the blender going. My co-workers know Saturdays from 6pm to 6am I am off limits.


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