As you might have heard, there's an election in four days.
I actually voted earlier this week. It's the first time I've ever voted early, partly because I like the tradition of voting on Election Day and partly because I can never get my shit together enough to get to the polls during early voting.
But this year, as (again) you might have heard, is different.
I felt compelled to get my ballot cast before November 8th. You know how sometimes a random irrational thought will become lodged in your brain crannies, and not only will it not leave but it actually begins to interfere with the other, rational thoughts in your head until it drowns them out and takes control?
That's been happening to me.
Maybe it's just me. But still.
Several days ago, I became obsessed with the thought that I might get hit by a bus or a bunch of motorcyclists or a fucking a-hole Tesla driver and not be able to cast my critical vote next Tuesday.
On Tuesday of this week (I think it was Tuesday, it might have been Wednesday, don't judge I'm a working single mom I'm lucky I even know it's an election year), I found a blissfully sleepy early voting location just a couple of blocks from my home and voted. You guys, this location had a bell for first-time voters to ring as they left the building. How effing awesome is that?
Anyway, I showed my ID (a whole nother topic), was escorted to a voting machine by a very sweet and helpful older lady, and fucking voted, all in a five-minute span.
I felt INCREDIBLE.
Because I actually parked in the wrong place, it took me longer to walk to the early voting building than it took me to vote.
I'm a middle-aged female type, yet I had no problem with the touch-screen computerized voting machine, nor did the older lady who explained in great detail how it operated, nor did the young Latina woman who was there when I arrived or the white dude who came in shortly before I left.
Pretty sure there was no fraud or other shenanigans happening at my polling place due to evil, evil machines and/or opposition operatives.
I got my coveted "I Voted" sticker, which I affixed to my chin and then took a selfie for my IRL Facebook page (find me, you guys, it's not hard). And then I went home. Democracy: Accomplished.
My election anxiety has decreased substantially since then, you guys.
What if I had a heart attack prior to November 8 and didn't get to vote?
What if space aliens landed and convinced me to vote for Trump prior to November 8?
What if I suffered a traumatic head injury and decided I was a lifelong Republican prior to November 8?
What if Hillary Clinton admitted to being...I don't know...a baby-killing racist homophobic Klan member just a few hours before the polls closed?
I'm just glad I already discharged my democratic duty to VOTE, you guys.
If you haven't already, Drunkards, be sure to VOTE.
Your particular choices are less important than that you chose to participate. I promise.
Have a share in the credit/blame for what happens November 8th.
Be that brave.