Monday, March 16, 2015

Body Parts, What-If Edition

What if you had a Wonka-esque golden ticket that you could exchange for the perfect body part of you choice?

Yep, just like in Willy Wonka. Exactly the hell that.

What would you exchange your ticket for?

Sorry. For what would you exchange your ticket?

Whatever. Also, please leave my head.
For me? Would it be my gravity-prone breasts? My shorter-than-average legs? My undefined cheekbones?


It would be my feet.

Caveat: These are not my feet.
Sure, I could wish for firm, gravity-defying breasts. But I've never, ever had those, so what's the point? I could wish for Mona Lisa-esque facial features, but again...why? I'm resigned to my face, really.

I could wish to be five inches taller, 40 pounds lighter, or just generally leaner and sinewy-er than I am. 

But no.

However, if I had pretty feet, I might actually feel a sense of accomplishment.

No corns, no rough spots, no misshapen pinky-nails.

I couldn't take a decent picture of my pinky toes,
but trust me, they are cloven, as per the Biblical
description of evil.
Anyway, I feel that my miscreant pinky toenails may be holding me back from achieving true love. So I would definitely turn them in for more normal-looking feet if I had the chance.

That's just me.

What about you?

What if you could cash in one current bodily feature for another that was more perfect in aspect? What would it be?

This should be interesting.


  1. I have never had a strong chin/jaw line. I think that or a flat belly. Either way.

  2. Slightly less curvy lower body. Slimmer, but still with some curves. Waist to knees.

  3. Flat doubt. I don't mind the scars and stretch marks ... my kids gave me those. :) but I hate the pudge.... Hate It! Not enough to do something about it like diet and exercise but if there was a magic ticket... :)

  4. The obvious thing to say is a flat stomach. Or rather to be thinner. Technically that's possible--I have been thinner before and could be again if I work at it.

    What I really, really, really want, though, is to be a little bit shorter. At 5'6" (or 168 centimeters to the rest of the world) I look up to most people already, but I'm really just a shade below average. It's close enough to average to be annoying. Average height, average weight, average looks. Let me be an outlier in at least one way, and better to be short than tall.

  5. I am partly congenitally deaf so I'd want better auditory nerves.


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