Saturday, September 16, 2017

Homecoming 2017, by a Mom

Faithful Drunkards will remember that in May of this year, Precocious Daughter and I went shopping for a prom dress.

After childbirth and divorce, it was maybe the hardest thing I've ever done.

With bra shopping not that far behind. But I digress.

Well, tonight is PDaughter's Homecoming dance. Her last one. Although I'm not really allowed to talk about that.

In her freshman year, PDaughter went to the dance with three friends - two female and one male. It was adorable.

But she skipped the dance as a sophomore and junior. She marched in the Homecoming parade, she played at the Homecoming game, but she sat out the dance. Her choice.

(I never once participated in any Homecoming activity in high school. Are you shocked?)

Last week she announced she was going to the dance as a senior - in fact, with the same young man with whom she went as a freshman. Totally platonic, and mostly because he has his driver's license and she only has her permit.

Anyway, she dragged me to the mall to go dress shopping. And, per the first link in this post, I was expecting the worst.

Fortunately, the teenage stakes for choosing a Homecoming dress are exponentially lower than the stakes for choosing a prom dress.

For prom, it took three days, three malls, and two dozen stores to find the perfect dress.

But for Homecoming store visited, one dress tried on. And the dress was 40% off. Done.

Yeah, I don't understand how the universe works, either.

So we bought this adorable, perfectly-fitting, blue velvet dress.

Aside to female Drunkards: If you've been in a store in the last few weeks, you've probably noticed that velvet is THE. THING. THIS. FALL. I mean, Starbucks is probably going to create a velvet latte, because screw pumpkin spice, velvet is the shit this year. I've been Team Velvet since about 2000, but I'm a goddamn visionary.


You may remember that a couple of weekends ago, PDaughter scored a bitchin' faux-leather ensemble at Goodwill.

Well, she paired her pretty, demure, strappy blue velvet dress with the black pleather jacket she got.

It looked amazing, you guys.

She did a smoky eye and a dark lip and finished it off with patent-leather ballet flats. Because she can totally rock that look.

I don't know how this is my child.

I don't know how I got to the point of having a high-school senior, honestly.

If you know me IRL, you can see pics on my Facebook page. If you don't...shit, I'm not that difficult to find. Look up single mom dirtbag blogger and you'll see me. I'll totally accept your friend request.

Warning: I post about PDaughter ALL THE TIME. Just sayin.

Senior year. Homecoming. Sigh.

Homecoming for the Rest of Us. Please.

Precocious Daughter is a senior in high school.

She's is marching band. She is playing at her high school's Homecoming game for the last time.

For the last time.

I mean, obviously, whatever. BUT STILL.

Everything PDaughter does this year is obviously in "OMG the last time she ever..." territory.

And she has expressed her utter disdain for it.

But I'm her mom, so...OMG OMG OMG.

Tonight PDaughter is playing lead clarinet in her marching band in support of her school's Homecoming game.

Which I expect they will lose pathetically because they're not very good.

UPDATE: They lost. Bad. Really bad.

Turns out spending $3400 on a clarinet doesn't guarantee a winning high school football season. Like, who knew?

OK, though.

They lost. Badly.

Yet the Homecoming Dance is tomorrow, nonetheless.

And PDaughter will attend, and she will look beautiful.


And she will go as the platonic friend of a boy she's known since childhood.

And if he does anything...


...less than respectful to my baby girl...

...he will answer to  me.

As will his parents.

And anyone else who claims to know us.

Just saying.

Mama Tiger is activated.

Just in case.


Happy Homecoming, children.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Promises, Promises

Just a simple question or two tonight.

Do any of you suffer from abandonment issues? And if so, how do you maintain relationships within that emotional framework?

I was in a rocky relationship for 20+ years because I knew he would never leave me.

Now I'm with the love of my life, who is wonderful when he's there...but sometimes (many times?) he's not there at all.

I don't have a problem with being alone. But I have a problem with being with someone and feeling alone.

Is that a deal-breaker, or just something up with which I have to put?

Insight, advice, and virtual face-slaps are welcome here.