Saturday, July 22, 2017

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge...Nothing.

So I just had the most adorable conversation ever with Drummer Boy.

When he's not drumming, he works in a retail environment. So he meets a lot of...interesting people.

He frequently tells me stories about his customers, both good and bad. But just now he said something that made me ask:

"Do female customers ever flirt with you?"

His response was negative. Not just negative, but completely guileless.

It was cute.

But I wasn't buying it for a minute. I pressed him:

"Have you ever had a woman engage you in conversation, completely innocuous, but she looked you straight in the eye the whole time?"

DB: Um, yes.

Me: That's called flirting. I've done it many times.

DB: ...

Me: ...

DB: Really?

Me: Yes, darling. Those women were flirting with you.

And, you guys, I watched at least 20 years of realization dawn on him as he remembered all the times he didn't realize women were coming on to him.

Me: Hello?

DB: WOW...

Me: Does this change anything?

DB: ...


Me: *Kisses him*

You guys.

My sweetheart, who is hot as a pistol honestly (I have no frickin' idea why he wants to be with a middle-aged nothing like me), has missed dozens, if not hundreds, of opportunities to hook up with interested women because he actually didn't recognize flirting.

I love him so much.

If you see him, please don't flirt with him. Because he knows what that is now.

Is your partner completely naive in some way that surprises you? Let me know.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Odds and Sods

I'm on vacation this week, but here are a few random bits from the past few days.

On Monday I took Precocious Daughter to the airport for her New York trip. I got a flat tire on the way. At nearly 70 mph. Yeah. Fortunately, it was on a toll road, and the North Texas Toll Authority provides complimentary roadside assistance. Complimentary and, fortunately, fast. From the time I pulled off the road to the time we were back on our way was 20 minutes, tops. And the very nice man who installed Bene's spare wouldn't even take a tip, although I've never wanted to tip anyone more in my life. We got to the airport in plenty of time, PDaughter proudly showed her temporary learner's permit at security, and off she went.

Taking my heart with her, as always.
The next day I took my car to Discount Tire and got the flat replaced for free, because Discount Tire is awesome. (Not a paid endorsement - I just really love Discount Tire.) It turned out that my two front tires had almost no tread left, so it still cost me $300+ to get rolling again. But now, all four tires are covered under warranty, so there's that. Also, I felt slightly terrible that PDaughter's first week of driving lessons were on tires that were potentially unsafe. I've got to say, Benedict Cumberhatch handles much better with four good tires.

Speaking of Benedicts, happy birthday to Benedict Cumberbatch! Smoooooooch.

I'm so glad I named my car after him.

My sweet Drummer Boy is staying with me this week. We both took the week off so that we could...well, so far, not do much of anything except put new tires on my car and go grocery shopping. Unless snuggling counts as something. (Snuggling, of course, counts for a lot.) Unfortunately, I think I'm some kind of car jinx. As we were driving to SuperTarget yesterday in his car, something flew up from the freeway and smacked a big old six-pointed star into his windshield. I seem to be causing expensive damage to automobiles this week, which wasn't my intention when I took the week off. I'm hoping the car-boo-boo gods are now satiated and will wreak no further havoc on our vehicles.

Drummer Boy brought his electric drum kit to my place. Because of course he's not going to give up practicing just to spend time with little old me. The benefit of an electric drum kit is that the sound of drumsticks hitting the drum pads is much quieter than actual drums. What I didn't realize is that Drummer Boy pounds the hell out of the foot pedal for his hi-hat, so my downstairs neighbors are likely to hate me before the week is out. Tough beans. I love watching him play - not only is he an amazing drummer, but it's sexy af to get a private performance.

Lol, this is what came up when I Googled "sexy drummer."
Sorry, doesn't do a thing for me.
Finally, on a more somber note, I just heard that Senator John McCain (R-AZ) had an aggressive brain tumor removed last week. I have my political differences with Sen. McCain, but I greatly respect his service, his intelligence, and his love of country. I hope he makes a full recovery. My thoughts are with him and his family.

Back to vacation. I'll check in later, Drunkards.