Wednesday, April 19, 2017

LOL, 2017 Cell Phone Edition

A little over four years ago, I wrote this post about getting my first smartphone.

You guys, that post I linked to is so 2013
you may start humming One Direction tunes.
Yesterday I got a new smartphone. For the first time since 2013. Because apparently middle-aged white suburban single-mom dirtbag bloggers hold on to their phones for more than four years at a time, yeah?

My beloved phone was in pretty dire straits, you guys. It was slow. It no longer downloaded or updated apps. It greatly disliked the task of playing videos. It was beginning to resent the existence of Facebook. Precocious Daughter's iPhone 6 openly mocked it.

So was time for an upgrade.

After ruling out anything made by Apple, and anything that cost more than $600, I landed on the LG V20. It has the latest Android OS, a crap-ton of storage, amaaaaaazing dual cameras, and reportedly incredible audio (I haven't played with it yet). It's a big goddamn piece of hardware compared to what I had, but I can deal, you know?

Honestly, it's like six feet long.
But I'm willing to cope with that.

ADORE this new phone.

It has a removable battery, which has basically disappeared from today's phones.

It has a 3.5mm jack, which...yeah, ditto.

It has 64GB of storage, which I will soon expand with a nano-SD card (I did not even know that was a thing...NANO. Well, OK then.)

It doesn't freaking WHINE when I attempt to upgrade an app or download a new one.

Def not too proud to display this.

Anyway, I have a brand-new phone. It's so shiny, you guys.

Probably two in three of you have an even better phone.

For the record: I don't GAF.

This is about me, and feeling I've made the best choice.

Which I do.



If I ever get too old to geek out over a bigger screen, a faster processor, or a sweet-arse interface, Drunkards, just put me out of my misery.

I'll be back here in another four years crowing about the latest (way overdue) advance in phone technology, I promise.


Monday, April 17, 2017

... ... ... My President?

Here's a positive thought:

I now empathize with those who thought for the last eight years that America had an unqualified, illegitimate, toxic President.

Ever since January 2009, I'd wondered how any citizen in their right mind could harbor such bilious ill will against a democratically elected President. How seemingly rational people could simply refuse to accept, or even tolerate, that a candidate for whom they hadn't personally voted was the leader of the free world.

How the most innocuous words or actions could be twisted by his opponents into something contemptuous and derisible.

How every positive spin issued by his administration could be interpreted as blatant lies and hypocrisy.

But now I understand.

The current President of the United States won the Electoral College vote, the only measure of a candidate's victory per the Constitution.

And while I may believe with all my heart that the current President of the United States is a corrupt, inept, unremittingly oligarchic puppet of special interests, it doesn't change that he is what was elected to lead our nation for the next four years...assuming he isn't assassinated or impeached.

I  get it.

I reserve the right to assert my loyalty to my flag, my country, and my government.

While simultaneously reserving the right to protest the bullshit occupant of the White House as an incompetent narcissist moron.

Because this is still America, even post-Obama. Right?

Suck it, conservatives. You've been asking for this since 2008.

Man/woman up and advocate for America. Not for billionaires in #MAGA trucker caps. Not for our most cynical political operatives.

Let's try to be grown-up Americans for once, OK?

Like or comment if you agree.

Even if you don't, this is my truth. And I'm willing to post it here.