Short Takes 4: For Younger Women

This one is really short.

It's 2014, and women still aren't allowed to own their sexuality.  It's still up to how comfortable their men are with the concept of a sexually aggressive woman.

I'm sure many of you live with this concept daily. I thought it would be different, but I've been sheltered for a long time.

File it under "Wow," I guess.

Short Takes 3: Doo Wop

I love 60s surf music, 70s power pop, New Wave, grunge, modern indie rock, folk, soul, rockabilly, even traditional country music.

But damn, I love doo wop.

The Chords.

I'm in a major doo wop phase right now. My new car, Benedict Cumberhatch, has satellite radio, and I've been listening obsessively to 50s on 5. For the doo wop.

The Edsels.

The sound of a male high tenor gives me goosebumps. And the harmonies...squee. They just make me feel good.

The Belmonts.

So if you want to hang with me, you need to know that I'm a doo wop fiend. A FIEND, I SAY.

The Spaniels.

I'm listening to doo wop right now. Good Saturday-night-and-I'm-all-alone music. I highly recommend it.

The Flamingos.

And if you can't handle it, stay away.

Short Takes 2: Whoa, Frankie

In case you haven't heard, Pope Francis just excommunicated the Mafia.

Dude is chill as fuck. Am I allowed to say that about
the Pope? Whatever lol.

I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the Mafia is, on the whole, as these things go, more or less SUPER CATHOLIC.

They're all former altar boys and take turns giving readings
at each other's funeral Mass.

And the Holy Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church just traveled right into the toe of Italy's boot - aka Center of the Mafia Universe - and excommunicated their cannoli-eating asses right out.

And someday, my precious child, if you join the Family,
I'll kick your ass out, too.

At this point the mob would seriously lose face if they didn't at least try to rub out the Pope. Which is going to take a shitload of rosaries to fix. But I'm pretty sure it's inevitable.

Pope Frankie, taking on the Mafia. Most badass Pope evah.

Short Takes 1: Middle Age

Precocious Daughter is at an all-day/all-night birthday party, leaving me to fill my time like an adult person.

Which apparently is a problem.

So I'm just going to put up some short posts about random topics throughout the evening. Because my life is just that exciting.

Here's how a bad standup comic would segue into the first one:

You know what else is exciting? Getting old and losing your mind.

Told you it was bad.

Even Rodney Dangerfield doesn't give me any respect.

Earlier today I washed my bedsheets. I took them out of the dryer and put them back on my bed. (Aside: Mmmm, fresh warm sheets.) Then I looked at my comforter and thought, I'll hang that outside for a while and let it air out.

So I took it outside, hung it up, went back in the house, walked into my bedroom...

...and immediately thought, "Where the fuck is my comforter?"

Rare photo of my actual brain.

Do you think I could make that up? Do you even read this blog?

Getting old sucks.

Anyway, I'll post again next time I do or think something dumb.

It shouldn't be that long a wait.