Pros and Cons, Home Ownership Edition

I know there are those reading this who are renters who dream about home ownership.

Because this gets you ramped up, I guess.

I get it, I really do. There are all kinds of advantages to owning your own home, from tax breaks to privacy to being able to paint your damn walls without asking anyone's permission.

Still, as someone who is about to end 19 years of home ownership, I have to say I'm looking forward to simply renting 963 square feet of someone else's space for a while.

Why?

Well, here's why.

1. The weather. I will no longer give a damn about the weather. Drought or flood, I don't have to program a sprinkler system or deploy soaker hoses or drag manual sprinklers out in order to keep my foundation from cracking. Not my slab, not my problem. Run up your own water bill if you want, mofos.

2. Burglary. My new apartment is on the fourth floor. I'm pretty confident that no would-be burglars will bother to scale those heights just to attempt to rob my meager possessions. If they do, I think they'll be of a type I can confidently dispatch with a well-placed kick to the crotch.

3. Maintenance. Dishwasher breaks down? Ceiling fan stops working? I don't give a crap. Yo, maintenance guys, fix my shit. That's why I'm paying 40% more than my current mortgage payment to rent this apartment. Hell, if I can't reach a burned-out light bulb with a step stool, I'm calling your ass.

4. Lawn care. I don't give a fuck if the grass is green or not. Water it if you want. Plant cacti if you want. I couldn't care care less what the landscape looks like 300 feet below me.

5. Amenities. At this moment, I don't have a treadmill, or a gas grill, or a swimming pool. I also am not within walking distance of cool shops, restaurants, or light rail. But once I'm my apartment, I totally will be. That all sounds good to me.

I wish I were in my apartment today. The only reason I'm not is that I can't afford to buy certain necessities like a washer/dryer, pots and pans, or living room furniture until my house closes. I'm thinking October 7th, unless a miracle happens before then, like a burning bush starts puking up dollar bills.

Anyway, while I understand the lure of home ownership, I also embrace the yearning to rent. What do you think? Let me know.

Independence Day

So recently I had renovations done on my house to get it ready for sale.

It looks great, and hopefully in the next two weeks it will be on the market.

One of the upgrades made to the house was replacing all of the doorknobs.

As a result, every door in the house now locks from the inside.

Right now, my bedroom door is locked with me inside.

Because he couldn't find his wine glasses and went on a rampage.

When he realized I hadn't actually taken them away from him, he stopped raging.

But I've still locked myself inside my bedroom.

I feel safer this way.

In just over a month I can move into my own place. He won't have a key. He won't even know which unit I'm in. If he wants to see PDaughter they can meet in a public place.

I'm looking forward to feeling safe again.

Happy Independence Day.