Oh my God oh my God oh my God.
|Sorry, but it really is like that.|
I had no apps. I had no touch screen. What I had was a big red phone that weighed about a pound and lately had developed cell-phone Alzheimer's. It had taken to randomly turning itself off, refusing to receive texts, and only achieiving an Internet connection when it damn well felt like it.
|It was the Grumpy Cat of phones, without being|
remotely adorable about it.
Stay with me here: a cell - or mobile - phone that can't leave the house is to a certain extent defeating the purpose of the technology.
|This would have been a distinct improvement.|
Portable, and the child would have been humiliated.
|And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, right.|
God, I hate dealing with my plan. What a pain in the butt. I'd rather put hot pokers in my eyes than deal with my plan. In fact, I'd rather pay for an assemblage of underperforming, overpriced phones than deal with my plan, as demonstrated by the fact that I'd been doing just that for months.
But then...a miracle happened.
|And I don't mean the miracle of |
the Jesus Banana.
I have no idea what just happened.
|Yeah, that's it. It's an Optimus Prime.|
I think it turns into a car or something.
But it's soooo cool. I can't believe it wants to be my friend. I'm going to start playing with it and seeing what it can do once I work up the nerve. I'm going to Facebook and download and Skype and share and all that good shit.
Hey...I wonder if this thing makes calls, too?