Odds and Sods

I'm on vacation this week, but here are a few random bits from the past few days.

On Monday I took Precocious Daughter to the airport for her New York trip. I got a flat tire on the way. At nearly 70 mph. Yeah. Fortunately, it was on a toll road, and the North Texas Toll Authority provides complimentary roadside assistance. Complimentary and, fortunately, fast. From the time I pulled off the road to the time we were back on our way was 20 minutes, tops. And the very nice man who installed Bene's spare wouldn't even take a tip, although I've never wanted to tip anyone more in my life. We got to the airport in plenty of time, PDaughter proudly showed her temporary learner's permit at security, and off she went.

Taking my heart with her, as always.

The next day I took my car to Discount Tire and got the flat replaced for free, because Discount Tire is awesome. (Not a paid endorsement - I just really love Discount Tire.) It turned out that my two front tires had almost no tread left, so it still cost me $300+ to get rolling again. But now, all four tires are covered under warranty, so there's that. Also, I felt slightly terrible that PDaughter's first week of driving lessons were on tires that were potentially unsafe. I've got to say, Benedict Cumberhatch handles much better with four good tires.

Speaking of Benedicts, happy birthday to Benedict Cumberbatch! Smoooooooch.

I'm so glad I named my car after him.

My sweet Drummer Boy is staying with me this week. We both took the week off so that we could...well, so far, not do much of anything except put new tires on my car and go grocery shopping. Unless snuggling counts as something. (Snuggling, of course, counts for a lot.) Unfortunately, I think I'm some kind of car jinx. As we were driving to SuperTarget yesterday in his car, something flew up from the freeway and smacked a big old six-pointed star into his windshield. I seem to be causing expensive damage to automobiles this week, which wasn't my intention when I took the week off. I'm hoping the car-boo-boo gods are now satiated and will wreak no further havoc on our vehicles.

Drummer Boy brought his electric drum kit to my place. Because of course he's not going to give up practicing just to spend time with little old me. The benefit of an electric drum kit is that the sound of drumsticks hitting the drum pads is much quieter than actual drums. What I didn't realize is that Drummer Boy pounds the hell out of the foot pedal for his hi-hat, so my downstairs neighbors are likely to hate me before the week is out. Tough beans. I love watching him play - not only is he an amazing drummer, but it's sexy af to get a private performance.

Lol, this is what came up when I Googled "sexy drummer."
Sorry, doesn't do a thing for me.

Finally, on a more somber note, I just heard that Senator John McCain (R-AZ) had an aggressive brain tumor removed last week. I have my political differences with Sen. McCain, but I greatly respect his service, his intelligence, and his love of country. I hope he makes a full recovery. My thoughts are with him and his family.

Back to vacation. I'll check in later, Drunkards.

Vacation 2016

I'm back in Texas, you guys.

Precocious Daughter and I flew into D/FW on Wednesday night. Because it was Turkey Day Eve, I was deathly afraid we were going to encounter traffic, long lines, security nightmares, flight delays...Nope. The trip went about as smoothly and as easily as you could wish.

Kind of like the entire vacation.

I had the best time in Milwaukee. I needed this trip. It's not just that I needed a vacation (which I really, really did), but I needed specifically this vacation. I needed time with PDaughter, time with my family, time in my hometown. Because I'm not the same person I was the last time I lived there, and I felt I had to find out just who I had become since then.

I'm pleased and relieved to report that I did, and I'm happy with that person.

First things first: Yes, I got my picture with the Bronze Fonz.

Unfortunately, Henry Winkler was not in attendance,
but it was still coolamundo.

Shout-out to the parking lot attendant with the beautiful Irish brogue who collected our $2.00 so we could roam the Milwaukee Riverwalk and pose with the statue. Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to state that every single person we encountered on our trip was friendly and nice. Well, except for maybe the hostess at Tenuta's Italian restaurant on Clement Ave., who is probably the only person on Earth to return PDaughter's big, bright smile with a sneer. Maybe she was on the rag, I don't know.

Anyway, I was able to show my girl a lot of my city. I'm proud to say I still mostly knew my way around after all these years, and when I needed help, PDaughter was right there to help me navigate via cell phone. We make a good team.

We went to the Mitchell Park Domes, you guys.

Again, bucket list. You won't regret it.

The Domes are a county park/horticultural conservatory housed in three giant geodesic domes built between 1959 and 1967. They consist of a Tropical Dome, a Desert Dome, and a Show Dome that houses exhibitions throughout the year. When we went, the Christmas display was up, and it was beautiful. PDaughter loved it, as I knew she would. Everybody loves the Domes.

Her father and I lived just three blocks from Mitchell Park when we were newlyweds. We used to throw Frisbees on the big green lawn just outside the Domes, taking care to avoid the 3,568 Canada geese that seemed to occupy the space at all times. Of course, I showed PDaughter where we lived, in the first-floor flat of a house built in 1909. The neighborhood didn't look much different from the way it did from 1989-1991. I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't know if 48-year-old me could be as comfortable there as 21-year-old me was. Probably not. But I'm glad 21-year-old me lived there. It was awesome.

I also drove PDaughter past the house I grew up in, the schools I attended, the corner stores where I spent my allowance, the movie theatres I went to (many of which closed, decayed, and then were restored and reopened since I was I kid), and the streets I roamed. Bless her heart, she feigned interest in all of it. Still, I know she genuinely enjoyed the Domes, and the Milwaukee Art Museum, and my friend South Side Shelly's very eclectic home on the edge of Bay View.

The Milwaukee Art Museum is a must-see. A treasure inside and out.

I got to spend time with my brother and his wife (who was a childhood friend). That was really nice. PDaughter thought my bro was funny and cool, which made me happy. We've had very different lives, but we still fell into our old sibling banter as if we hadn't spent the last 20 years apart. Because family.

My parents seem to be doing well now that they've moved from the woods of northern Wisconsin to the relative civility of Oak Creek. They're old now...that's a bit of a thing for me. They're healthy, and independent, and certainly as mentally sharp as they've always been (thank goodness for parents who have challenged me intellectually my whole life), but still, they're in their 70s. I love them, as I've always loved them, for raising me and worrying about me and helping me out when I've needed help. I hope that when PDaughter is grown, she sees me half as favorably as I see my mom and dad.

Yet...they've been married for 52 years, and they act like it. They act like the old married couple of which I will never be a part. They bicker, they argue, they purse their lips and furrow their brows and give each other the silent treatment when the only other alternative is to shout, apparently.

It makes my heart hurt a little. Because I don't think they're happy. Yet I don't think they could live without each other. And I feel a bit guilty that I terminated my own marriage before I could get to the same state. And I'm so much happier for that.

But...we're all adults. And we make our choices.

And among my choices is that I spent five days in Milwaukee with my Precocious Daughter. And I'm so glad I did.

This Thanksgiving, I'm truly thankful for what I have. And for what I've lost.

By the way, we had a non-traditional Thanksgiving. There was chicken, pork, beef, meat loaf...but no turkey. That seems appropriate.

Still, I'm happy. And I feel so strong, you guys. I feel I owe some of that to you.

So thanks.

I hope you're all thankful, too.

Let me know, yes?

Because if nothing else, gratitude is the reason for the season.

Hello, Milwaukee Part II

Day 3 in Milwaukee:

My parents and Precocious Daughter and I went to Grant Park in South Milwaukee and walked the Seven Bridges. Even though it was 30 degrees out, the beach on Lake Michigan still made me oh so happy.

Make it a bucket list item. You won't be sorry.

Then we toured my ancestral home town of South Milwaukee, seeing the apartments I lived in from ages two to five, the homes of three of my aunts (and uncles and cousins), and the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. You guys, I don't want to be buried in the ground, but there is something somber and touching about walking amongst the gravestones of the dead and wondering about their stories and honoring your own relatives. With PDaughter at my side, I felt I was finally able to present her to her great-grandparents. Yeah, I got a little choked up. I miss my grandparents, and I know they would have loved her to death.

We spent the afternoon chilling, and then PDaughter and I visited my dear friend South Side Shelly, who proved to be exactly as smart and funny and eclectic as I remembered her from high school. She and PDaughter hit it off really well. We had dinner at an Italian place in Bay View called Tenuta's that was really quite wonderful. I love you, Shelly.

Tomorrow PDaughter and I will drive around some more, visiting landmarks and whatnot. Definitely visiting the Mitchell Park Domes, which happens to be just a few blocks from the house her father and I lived in as newlyweds. Maybe going to Kopp's Frozen Custard, even though the temperature will be in the thirties (spoiler alert: not optimal frozen custard weather).

In case you can't tell, I'm having the best time in Milwaukee. PDaughter and I are having an experience we'll share forever. I'm cherishing this time with my parents.

This is my Thanksgiving.

What are you thankful for?

On Separation Anxiety and Quality Beards (In One Post, Really)

Tomorrow Precocious Daughter is flying to New York to visit her paternal grandmother for a week.

Which is wonderful for her. She doesn't get to spend enough time with any of her grandparents, and of course any opportunity to spend time in the Big Apple is not to be missed. The last time she was there she visited the Jersey shore, saw a Broadway show, and toured Radio City Music Hall. This time she may hit up MOMA, Ellis Island, and of course, see another Broadway show.

I will miss her terribly.

Also, I will put my house up for sale while she's gone. One less teenager in the house means it will be infinitely easier to keep clean for showings. I sort of wish her father were going away for the same reason.

Aside: Why does it require three butter knives to cook a plate of spaghetti? Because that's just one highlight of what I had to clean up this morning. I don't know if it's wrong to divorce someone for being a slob, but it sure as hell doesn't feel wrong to me.

But I digress.

I would love to book a hotel room and have a bit of a staycation while PDaughter is away. But I just know that if I'm not at the house 24/7, he will sabotage all my efforts to sell it, just by making a goddamn mess, which is his default mode.

Did I already ask if it's wrong to get divorced because you're tired of living in someone else's pervasive, thoughtless filth?

Is it possible to love someone and absolutely not want to spend one more minute living with him?

Back to where I started: PDaughter leaves for New York tomorrow, and I hope she has an amazing time, although I will miss her every moment she's away.

There is a chance, because of the red-hot local real estate market, that the house will be under contract by the time she comes home.

If it's not, I'm going to start to panic, because I sort of require the proceeds from the sale to start the new life I've already set in motion for my kiddo and me.

How freaking ironic would it be if I became financially dependent on my spouse after 25 years of being the breadwinner?

Very ironic, if by "ironic" you mean "horrifying and unthinkable."

On a completely different topic, I'm thinking of creating a "How Wonderful/Terrible Is Your Facial Hair?" quiz for my male Drunkards. I just have to find a code shell and customize it. Do any of my male readers want to know how wonderful/terrible his facial hair is, according to a 100% objective and not subject to my input program?

If you're a bearded lady, same question.

The world is full of wonders.

Off the Clock

As of four o'clock this afternoon, I am on vacation.

To answer the question that many, many people have asked:

Nowhere.

Not here.

I could go somewhere, but the funds I would use are earmarked for other things. Things I'm going to start taking care of this week.

Important things.

So I'm taking a time vacation instead of a place vacation. As in, time away from work. Time to get things done. Time to be both productive and relaxed.

Which sounds beautiful to me.

Tomorrow I start meeting with contractors, who are going to help me stretch my pod of money that is earmarked to get my house ready to sell.

(That is a whole 'nother post in itself. Wait for it.)

Monday I take Benedict Cumberhatch for his very first service interval. I've promised myself to take very good care of this car, and that means actually getting the recommended services on schedule. 

Tuesday I go to the optometrist. It's been, almost to the day, four years since I last had my eyes checked. I'm dismayed and disgusted to report that my middle-age eyesight is continuing to deteriorate. On the other hand, I get to pick new frames! Yay!

Tuesday is also haircut day. I've been growing it out, which is something I do periodically until I remember that wanting to have long, thick hair doesn't make it so. I may give my baby-fine locks one more cycle to grow out before giving up and getting it chopped short (which will coincide with the heat of summer, which is what I do every year).

Aside: Precocious Daughter has So. Much. Hair. She wears it super-short - way shorter than what I consider  a short 'do - but there's still so much of it. She got her hair cut a few days ago. Even though she didn't have more than a half-inch or so removed, it still amounted to a soft, fluffy cloud approximately the size of Cousin Itt on the floor of the salon.

Minus the hat.

Aside #2: My future ex informed me that my hair doesn't look good long. There was a time I would have taken that into consideration. Yeah.

Right now I don't have anything scheduled past Tuesday, but there's probably going to be a fair bit of DIY, some gardening, maybe additional contractors. Probably some crap TV binge-watching. A hike in the woods, if the weather cooperates. Working on my social media presence.

Writing, duh. Hours and hours of writing.

I'll also be very busy not checking my work email. 

Aaaaaahhhhhh.