Thursday, November 2, 2017

It's Not About One Celebrity

My thoughts on Kevin Spacey, you guys.

Full disclosure: I adore Kevin Spacey as an actor. From The Usual Suspects to American Beauty to Glengarry Glen Ross to House of Cards to Baby Driver to his famous imitations of celebrities like Christopher Walken and Bobby Darin, I think he is a monumentally talented person.

But Hollywood...and America...and the world...are having a moment right now.

A moment about finally acknowledging that the human experience - the business realm, the religious realm, and especially the entertainment realm - revolves around sexual discrimination and abuse.

Even if we could put aside for a single damn moment that the current President of the Goddamn United States is on record as boasting about his ability to grab women by the pussy...

...there is still the sobering reality that millions of men in power see fit to get their ugly, misogynistic, misanthropic rocks off by intimidating and exploiting people they perceive as beneath them.

I've experienced this in my own life...thankfully, to a degree less blatant and obstructive and violent than many others have endured.

That doesn't for a minute mean I downplay or dismiss the experiences of others. I accept and acknowledge the good fortune that has blessed me in this and many regards.

We all suffer in our own ways, which does not in any form diminish the sufferings of our fellow humans.

And I think if more people accepted that, we'd all be a damn sight better off.

Anyway, the flood of women (and men) coming forward about their experiences of sexual harassment/intimidation/assault is profoundly disturbing.

Also, profoundly inspiring.

And while everyone is innocent until proven guilty, I think we all should agree that it doesn't matter...

...what their name is...

...what their job is...

...what their reputation is...

...what their power is relative to anyone else's...

Wrong is wrong.

Abuse is abuse.

Silence is damning.

Complicity is immoral.

Assault is assault.

And protecting the reputation/career of any individual is less important than vindicating a victim of predatory behavior.

Maybe you don't agree.

You're wrong.

Protection of abusers at the expense of victims is so outdated. So pathetic.

Innocent until proven guilty, yes.

That's the American way.

But slut/whore/weakling until proven victim?

Let's shutter that nonsense right now.

If we can do nothing else to preserve what America is supposed to be about in 2017, let's show compassion and empathy to those who need it most, and stop automatically giving the benefit of the doubt to rich white men in power.

Full disclosure.

I am in love with a middle-aged white male. He is kind, respectful, and empathetic toward everyone he meets. I've seen that in action many times.

So don't even fucking say it can't be done.

We can all choose to be good. All of us.

Like or share if you make that choice.


  1. I would hope (and strongly suspect) that I'm not a Harvey Weinstein or even a Kevin Spacey, but the conversaiton has made me think about my own treatment of people over the years. Power dynamics and a sense of entitlement can lead to situations that don't seem to have consequences at the time... but probably should.

    It seems like a lot of people with way more power and money than I have end up with track records that are pretty disgusting and shocking. But I've been thinking more about things I have done which might have had effects on other people that I didn't even consider at the time.

    Hopefully, it's another step in societal changes in the way we handle ourselves.

  2. Thank you for this. I personally feel we can all treat others better. It will take a while. I'd like to be an early adopter <3

  3. And then there is this.

    In my opinion, the onus is absolutely, a hundred percent - not 99.99%, a hundred - on the accuser to prove his or her allegations. Until and unless he does that, the presumption of justice means the accused is innocent.

    And so long as the accused is innocent the accuser is a liar. QED.

  4. I've been thinking about this a lot, focusing on the fact that Spacey's behavior wouldn't have been tolerated for so long if he hadn't been in a position of power. That's true of all those whose abuses have recently come to light. And it's not enough to say that we shouldn't accept power as an excuse.
    For me it's prompted some serious soul-searching. If I were someone who worked for Spacey or someone like him, would I be willing to speak up? Would I be willing to lose a job, would I accept my own responsibility, in order to stop the abuse?
    For now at least I can only hope so.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.