|What a bargain!|
I realize I don't have to explain to you cultured, fashion-forward people what these are. But I will, because it makes me happy just to type the words. These are microfiber chenille dust-mop slippers.
If I were the inventor of these, I would pretty much consider my place in Heaven locked the fuck up.
|Sorry, Mr. Jobs. It's nice, but it doesn't clean your floor|
while you get your morning coffee.
They're so fluffy. They're tiny wearable mops for your feet. And best of all, they only work if you shuffle when you walk, the way your mom always told you not to. Because if you're high-stepping through your kitchen like the sluttiest majorette in the parade, you cannot take full advantage of the awesomeness that is (are?) the microfiber chenille dust-mop slippers.
I have to walk around my home anyway, because robot maids somehow still aren't a thing in 2015. So why not take care of a pretty tedious chore while I schlep about, trying to figure out why the hell I got up in the first place?
|There is a specific demographic being targeted here,|
and it has "menopause" in its description.
The best part: They come in purple.
|Making them the best product ever manufactured, clearly.|
Whatever it takes to experience the glory of microfiber chenille dust-mop slippers.
Go on, say it out loud. You know you want to.
I get it.