I promised you a facial hair quiz. Oh yes, I did.
Here it is.
Oh, and you can totally take it even if you're a woman or have no facial hair. We are ALL about inclusion here, Drunkards.
So take the quiz and see where your facial hair falls, on a scale of Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite to luscious model Ricki Hall (pictured).
If it glitches, let me know so I can fix it. Also, let me know how you rate.
Full disclosure: It's possible I used Drummer Boy as a template for perfection in this area. I'm sure you're still a very nice person if you don't measure up. Just sayin'.