You Want Me to Do WHAT?

I saw this on the Internet.

Imagine life if we did half the things we tell others to do.

So I imagined it. 'Cause I got mad imagining skills.

Pure imagination, bitches.
Me and Willy Wonka. Yo.

What if I did half the things I've told other people to do? Well...

I'd go halfway to hell.

Where the heck do I go from here?

I'd either shut up OR leave myself alone (not sure which half I should actually do).

I'd eat shit OR die (ditto).

It's tempting, but...

I'd take a short walk on a short pier. And then enjoy the view, I guess.

I'd give myself deadlines that are half as much time as I usually tell other people I need...which means they'd actually be realistic and on-target for once.

I'd be 50% honest and upfront with people about how I feel. That would be real progress for me.

I'd get halfway over myself. Sounds a bit physically awkward, but I'm willing to try.

Oooooh, halfway there...

I'd hit the road, Jack, and only come back sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes.

I'd listen to half of the new albums by Old 97s, Jake Bugg, and Ray LaMontagne. Not sure why I would do that, as they're all really good. But hey, I'm imagining it.

Imaaaaaaagining.

And I guess I'd get to second base with myself.

Think about it.

P.S. The Jeneral has promised me a guest post. So stand by, because without having seen it I can say it's going to be awesome.

Woooo!