Saturday, August 17, 2013

I Am Repentant

I don't know what got into me tonight.

I blame the crazy.
I did something totally out of character and - as it turns out - extremely ill-advised.

Hold up. It's not as if I voted Republican.
Tonight I bought a bottle of Skinnygirl Margarita.

On a related note: Does anyone want a nearly-full bottle of Skinnygirl Margarita? I have one that I desperately want to get rid of.

God, that shit is vile.

I'm told I'm better looking than
this (by people who clearly are
visually impaired), but the
sentiment is there.
What was I thinking? I drink vodka. I don't drink the most expensive vodka - because expensive - but I know what good vodka is, and I revel in finding and consuming quality brands thereof. In admittedly large quantities. L A R G E quantities.

But I was clambering in the woods tonight, and I got really thirsty, and I wanted something cold and sweet. And although I could have chosen one of a variety of quality pre-mixed bottled margaritas from the cold box of my local liquor store, I decided to try Skinnygirl. Because fuck Jose Cuervo when a brand started by a reality-TV star is available.

I don't even know who Bethenny Frankel is.
Does she use real baby in her products?
It was just...ugh. I took three sips and then poured it out. Now I have to figure out what to do with the rest of this damn bottle that I am definitely not going to drink because my self-loathing issues are never going to be that serious.

I apologize to vodka for straying.

Vodka has forgiven me.

Will you, my Drunkards?

This priest is drunk.
If you want an opened bottle of Skinnygirl Margarita, I will pay the shipping to get it to you. Anything to get it out of my house.

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like Feni. Anyone want some Feni?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I bought a bottle of that once. Just for shits and giggles. I took 2 sips then proceeded to dump the rest of the bottle down the sink. I mean, I wouldn't give that to my friends, and I wasn't going to a party anytime soon to pawn it off there. Good luck! I'm glad you and Vodka have made amends and that it forgives you!

    ReplyDelete

You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.