Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Belated Squirrel Appreciation

Yesterday, January 21, was Squirrel Appreciation Day.

 
And I missed it.

I meant to write an entire post dedicated to squirrels and appreciation thereof. Because I do love the little bushy-tailed bastards.

 

But yesterday was also Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and – yay! – a paid holiday at my new company. And it was also Inauguration Day, which meant that Beloved Spouse and Precocious Daughter and I got to watch President Obama take the oath of office together. (We also watched his first inauguration together, but that was because we all had the flu that week. This way was better.) It was also the day we decided to see Lincoln. Wonderful movie, although it was a bit discomfiting to hear the Great Emancipator utter the words “Nothing makes the British shit faster than seeing George Washington.” Hilarious, but a bit discomfiting.

And on top of everything else, it was the day I utterly exhausted myself holding my fragile psyche together so that my family and I could enjoy these things even though my depression kept prodding me with a pointed stick until I wanted to cry out loud, which I would not do.

So that’s why I didn’t write a post about Squirrel Appreciation Day yesterday.

 

I feel bad about missing it. I’d like to make it up to my readers and the noble squirrel population by presenting this little poem. It's actually more of a squirrel-themed rap.

 

I like squirrels and their bushy-tailed butts
And I really dig the way that they bury their nuts
And I’m flattered when they chatter at me
Up in a tree
As if I were a threat to their security.
I love their beady little eyes and their pointy little claws
But why do they eat nuts all day?
I guess it’s just because.
They jump, they dash, they scurry around;
They’re pretty fierce competitors, pound for pound.
But I wish I wouldn’t squish ‘em
When they run in the street.
Why can’t you just scamper onwards
On your funny little feet?
My car is so much larger than you ever were
And I really hate to flatten all that soft pretty fur.
So all you squirrels and your girls
And your children and kin,
You all are great and I appreciate
Your dropping on in.
I’d like to have you as a friend, a companion, a pet
Because you’re clever and I’ve never
Met a bad squirrel yet.
I love the old squirrels, the young squirrels,
The little fuzzy babies,
And I’d give ‘em all a kiss
If they weren’t teeming with rabies.
 

Peace.

4 comments:

  1. You should put together an album. Your squirrel rapping skills surpass those of any other rapper before you.

    And how the effing eff did I not know about squirrel appreciation day?! I'm kind of hurt that I wasn't paying attention and nobody told me! Or did they tell me, and I just forgot? It's probably the second one, but I'm going with the first because it makes me seem less senile.

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  2. Had no idea there was a squirrel appreciation day. Thanks for sharing... it's now in my calendar so that I don't miss it next year. Also, the squirrel rap? AWESOME!!

    ps- depression is an asshole. Hope you're feeling better soon!

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  3. OMG, I need to buy little hats for all of the neighborhood squirrels.

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  4. OMG, I need to buy little hats for all of the neighborhood squirrels.

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